Can you ACCEPT the UNACCEPTABLE?

6

January 3, 2013 by Kirsty Kianifard

This is a HUGE topic for me and I am going to be honest right from the start, it is not something I always find easy and I have been procrastinating over this particular blog post for some time. With it being the new year I felt it was the right time to put pen to paper over this so please be kind :)

Being nonjudgmental and accepting people for who they are without trying to change them is a clear aim for all of us, right? But what if something comes up that just really doesn’t feel right? What if someone says or does something that is just completely against what you feel is right? And even more, what if trying to accept this ‘thing’ makes you go against your own beliefs and instincts and makes you feel uncomfortable inside?

Well, the obvious answer would be send this person or scenario lots of love and go your separate ways.

That was easy … NOT! Sometimes these situations arise in your workplace, family, friends or business relationships and there is just no way to simply remove yourself from what is slowly becoming a rather toxic environment.

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Ta-dah … this is when the magical ‘acceptance’ siren goes off in your head but you realise this is pushing your levels of acceptance way out of your comfort zone.

So, what do you do?

If you just accept what is happening and continue to carry out the pleasantries then it feels like you are rather undermining your values and not standing up for your beliefs. It makes you feel like you aren’t being your authentic self in their presence.

The big conundrum is, not accepting them at all and putting up a fight every time you encounter them doesn’t sit well with you either and this actually makes life pretty miserable for you both.

There has to be a middle ground, a way to manage this uncomfortable situation whilst staying true to yourself until, well it just becomes a whole lot more comfortable … and it has to one day, right?

The trick is, how can we make this work for us rather than against us?

Well, I am outing myself here as this is a tricky one for me, but here goes:

  • Try to find some common ground, there must be something you agree on or have in common?
  • Realise that any hurtful behaviour is coming from some resistance in their heart so don’t retaliate as this will only close yours. Send them lots of love.
  • See this as your greatest challenge yet. If you pride yourself on giving and loving then challenge yourself to beat the ego’s ‘pride’ and make it your aim to heal or help this person.
  • Understand that this process is teaching and showing you things you need to learn so be grateful for this. Gratitude is one of the most powerful mind sets to be in.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and tips on this topic and I will leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson that inspired me to write this post:

“What’s difficult in life is to stay centred when somebody does or says something that tempts us to close our hearts because their heart was closed. That is hard. But that is also how we grow. We go through those circumstances in order to evolve into people who can hold on to our loving centre no matter what the world throws”

Love and acceptance for all that is,

Kirsty x

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6 thoughts on “Can you ACCEPT the UNACCEPTABLE?

  1. Great post Kirsty! I’m totally digging what you’re saying here :)
    I find that because I’m a positive person people think that some things just roll off me, that I don’t feel moved or hurt by things that people say or do. It actually couldn’t be further than the truth. I feel alot; and deeply. Like you I try to apply the principles of my positive lifestyle into every situation, but as we know emitting love frequencies in certain scenarios can be tough!
    One think which I’ve learnt to do is to acknowledge how something made me feel; especially if its a bad or out of sync feeling. Then I ask myself why it made me feel that way. Sometimes I’ll have a little a-ha moment and sometimes I’ll feel perplexed for days. But eventually the answer will come and it will click. I’ll understand the assignment and lesson on an intuitive level. Admitting how you feel is a game changer. No point lying to yourself about it and then trying to mask it over with Positve thoughts. Everything is a lesson :)
    Great thought provoking post. Really loved it! And kudos to you for having the moxie to write & post. Here’s to a slam-dunk New Year! X

    • Thanks Jenn, you are so right about acknowledging how we feel. Sometimes when you’re on this positive spiritual mission you kind of forget that you are allowed to be human :)

      Had a bit of an a-ha moment whilst writing this so there goes another lesson! Really great connecting with you lovely. Much love and magic x x

  2. Deborah King says:

    Wow, each time your blog email comes in it’s exactly in tune with what I’m going through, it’s uncanny! Hence I came and had an amazing Anahata Chakrasanct therapy on 31st to boost and ‘heal’ me for the new year! Thanks so much for the blogs Kirsty, amazingly intuitive. I’ll be back for another Chakrasanct very soon! Deborah x

    • Thank you Deborah, I am really glad these posts are resonating with you. You will always find what you need just when you need it if you keep your eyes and intuition open :)

      Really pleased you enjoyed your Anahata Chakrosanct treatment, it is a beautiful heart opener.

      I will be running some workshops soon so hopefully we can connect there too.

      Love and magic, Kirsty x x

  3. I have been learning to send Reiki to a “situation” as well as for healing people. With me historically I always look to myself and believe its “me” that is “wrong” or needs to put up with it and being a natural peacemaker that’s what I end up doing. Its something I’ve really been working on – and struggling to be honest, but that doesn’t mean its not helping – just difficult getting to grips with. xx

    • I hear you Linda, it is not easy but what you are doing sounds great. It is getting the balance between respecting the lesson we need to learn and respecting our own beliefs and feeling strong and grounded with that. A great saying I once heard was “Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated” and I really love that. Love and magic, Kirsty x x

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