I have been asked to reflect on situations in my life where I have informally coached and also when I myself have been informally coached.
Initially, I got to thinking that I would be able to give lots of examples of times that I have informally coached friends, family and loved ones but after giving it some more thought, I’m not so sure. You see, true coaching needs to come from a place of pure selflessness, with no attachment to the outcome of said coaching topic and must, most certainly, be without any ‘steering’ in the right direction. It must come without advice!
So now, hopefully, you are beginning to understand why this may not be quite as easy as I first thought. I am pretty sure that a lot of the ‘help’ I believe I am giving to others comes from my OWN experiences that have my OWN interpretations and often end up with my OWN judgment, bias and emotional response attached to them.
I am left looking for a platform or circumstance that I know I have purely and openly offered true coaching. This needs to be a place where listening to the other person is key and where picking up on what is not being said, that which is being held back, are my main concerns.
Then it dawns on me! It’s the one place where an exchange of healing occurs in my life that has no other basis than the untouched desire to help. It’s what gave me my calling in life and what I feel I am here, on this beautiful earth, to do. It is my Dharma … and that is my 1:1 work with clients through bodywork, Reiki, energy healing, chakra therapy, meditation and now professional coaching.
It is within these confinements that I meet with a soul who I have never met before but who wants my help or assistance to release a block, which is stagnating their life experience. It is within this first meeting that a non-judgmental and entirely safe bond is made between the two of us for true coaching to begin.
You might be thinking that this doesn’t sound like a particularly ‘informal’ arrangement, and you’d be right. This is my profession. But, aside from the professional coaching modality, none of the individuals who come to see me for any of my other disciplines are aware they will receive some coaching.
I have to admit, when I first started out in my career the approach I now have to my work and this level of informal coaching, was not my intention. Even now, I often think that I will simply deliver a hot stone massage but before I know it our energy has connected and the coaching has commenced. I must mention here that the feeling I experience when this happens is one that I find hard to replicate in any other area of my life. I can only describe it as a profound sense of peace and a deep connection with my heart.
It is a deeply rooted belief of mine that this level of informal coaching, which includes listening, questioning, planning and motivating, plays a huge part in what inspires us as human beings. It is often in a brief encounter with an acquaintance, or a deep conversation with someone in your life who, in that moment, is solely there for you and listens to exactly what you are saying (and what you’re not). This can inspire us to change something or simply to question our actions or ourselves. If more of us were able to allow our own agendas to take a back seat and priorities the gift of ‘time’ for someone who needs it, we would see the light and sparkle return to someone who feels it could be fading.
I know this to be true because I have witnessed it time and time again in my clients and in myself!
Those that know me, may think that I am on this super spiritual journey and that I treat every hurdle as a learning curve. And they would be right! But, this doesn’t mean I am without my ups and downs too! This is where I have experienced the benefits of informal coaching.
Occasionally I can feel stumped by a particular situation or simply feel that I need a bit more inspiration to get an idea off the ground. Years ago, I used to turn to those closest to me for the guidance I was seeking but soon realized this ‘advice’ could be layered with past experiences or personal preferences. Don’t get me wrong, I know it often comes from a place of love and positive intention and for this I am immensely grateful! However, the wisest and most profound coaching I have ever had has come from sources by sheer coincidence who know nothing about me other than what they see in that moment. Very often this coaching comes in the form of a completely unrelated conversation containing a strong message that is there for me to apply to my situation. This type of informal coaching has got me to where I am today and is what constantly inspires and surprises me … it’s often what puts a smile on my face on those somewhat harder days.
The decision I took to offer formal coaching was one born from my experience of informal coaching. I believe the first (formal) to be a more proactive and focused form of coaching, and the latter (informal), to be that golden thread that guides us to intuitively to make the right decisions and to honor our daily interactions and experiences.
I for one, will continue to partake in both!
Coaching Clients Required! I am looking for clients to coach as part of my current course. As a volunteer you will receive free coaching with me for a minimum of one session but you may have the opportunity to continue with free follow-up appointments if desired. All that is required is a genuine ‘topic' that you feel could benefit from coaching and the ability to get to our EcoSpa in Hove. To register your interest please email me directly on firstname.lastname@example.org. Limited spaces are available.